Better than Immortal Life
by GhostlyBob
Summary: What happened after CoE? Was what we saw true? Jack doesn't see it that way.


**I know I should be working on my other story 'Under Your Skin,' but this one has been bugging at me to be written so I thought I'd get this out of the way so I can focus on that one.**

**Summary: What happened after CoE? Was what we saw true? Jack doesn't see it that way. Slight crossover with Doctor Who and a referrence to Red Dwarf.**

**Warnings:Okay, so there is MPREG, something I don't usually touch but for this story to work I thought it was needed. Also, don't get sucked up by the fluff. Readers of my work know I'm not one to maintain it.**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Torchwood, DW or Red Dwarf. Like I have always said, I only borrow others toys because Im too poor to afford my own.**

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They were coming thick and fast, the images becoming tangible in his fractured mind. He could see everything so clearly, yet the edges blurred and the sounds were not as crisp as they had once been. He knew these images couldn't be right; making a martyr of his own grandson to protect the children of earth, running away from the world which gave him so much pain, holding the man he loved in his arms as he watched him take his final breath. No, they couldn't be true. Yet, they kept dragging him back each night as he lay his head down on the pillow. He tried to turn away from them, but they protruded out of the darkness in each direction, cutting him off from any hope of escape.

_'Jack?'_

He could see the dead eyes of all those he had loved, all those he had ever lost. But he knew this was wrong and he knew they weren't gone. They couldn't be.

_'Jack? Jack!'_

There was no escape, Jack knew that now. He was drowning in a sea of memories that he couldn't remember, didn't want to remember. He just wanted out, he needed to get out. He needed the one person he knew would help him to save him from this hell.

_'Jack! Wake up.'_

*****

Strong hands shook his shoulders as his bright blue eyes sprung open, darting left and right to gain his bearings. Finally his eyes settled on the figure above him and he let out a happy and relieved sigh.

'Jack, you had me worried there.' Ianto Jones, his partner, stared deep into his lover's eyes as he caressed his forehead, brushing away the damp hair from his eyes. Before he could continue, Jack brought his lips to Ianto's and captured them in a longing and needing kiss. Ianto responded, slipping his hand behind Jack's head, bringing him closer so he could taste every molecule of his lover. When they finally broke apart, breathless and content, Jack looked up into Ianto's eyes.

'It's was just that dream again,' Jack finally spoke, resting his hands on Ianto's shoulders as he took in the sight of his lover. Suddenly, all the blurred and disturbed images of his mind began to melt away, leaving behind the truth he knew looked back at him. It had been six years since the 456 had come to Earth to take the children of the planet, in desperate need of a chemical fix. It had been six years since Jack had knocked Ianto out just before they reached Thames House to face the 456 alone, not prepared to risk losing the man he loved. It had been six years since he had used Clem's body to channel the signal that destroyed the 456, insuring the safety of all the children of earth. So why was he still being plagued by the thoughts of what could have been? Why was he doomed to live out the what-if moments in his sleep?

'It's okay,' Ianto whispered as he moved his hand down Jack's chest. 'It was just a nightmare. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going to lose me anytime soon.' Ianto's hand stilled as it slid over the curve of Jack's belly. 'Not when we've got so much to look forward to.' He let out a small laugh as he felt his unborn son kick under his touch, losing himself in the thought of becoming a father in three months time.

'Why do you have to encourage your son to use me as a football?' Jack tried to look angry towards Ianto, but failed when his lover planted small butterfly kisses to his bump and whispered something in Welsh to their child.

'Oh, so he's suddenly _my _son,' Ianto smiled as Jack pouted, not at all happy that the child growing inside him was taking up all of his lover's attention, when he was the one in dire need of some tender loving care. The pout quickly turned into a smile as Ianto crushed his lips against Jack's, slipping his tongue in to once again taste his lover. They stayed that way for a while, neither wanting to stop or to continue further. This was what it was all for; all the loss and the struggle, moments like this were ones to cherish and to remember.

'Yuck.' The two men were drawn from their kiss to the sound of a young girl standing at the foot of the bed. Clutching her stuffed bear under her chin, Elisabeth (but everyone always called her Lizzie) Harkness Jones screwed her nose up at her parents display of affection; a look which reminded Jack of the face Ianto pulled whenever anyone else had tried to make coffee in the Hub. 'Kissing yucky,' the four year old declared as she walked around the bed towards Jack. The immortal man could not believe that four years ago, he held his daughter in his arms after giving birth. He had conceived Lizzie the night after the 456 had been defeated. Ianto thought it would be a good idea to celebrate, which meant three months later, Jack had his head stuck down the toilet and he was more tired than he had ever been. The timing wasn't perfect; Gwen was four months along when they found out Jack was pregnant, which meant Ianto having to deal with both Gwen and Jack, who were both pregnant, hormonal and unbalanced at the same time. If it hadn't of been for Rhys, Martha, Lois and Agent Johnson recruiting themselves into the newly rebuilt Torchwood Three, Ianto would have had a nervous breakdown the size and grandeur of the Grand Canyon.

'You may not think so when you grow up,' Jack laughed as he watched Ianto's face fall. He smiled as he recalled Lizzie had an almost identical facial expression whenever she couldn't get her own way. Ianto didn't believe it, but ask anyone else and they would agree with Jack, much to Ianto's dismay.

'Don't encourage her. She's got your genes, God knows what she'll be like when she's old enough.' Ianto looked sternly towards Jack. He was worried enough about their son being born, he just wasn't prepared to think about his little girl growing up to be a mini Captain Jack Harkness. All those thoughts suddenly left his mind as he watched his little girl walk up to Jack, climb onto the bed carefully and snuggle into her father's side.

'Morning, baby.' Lizzie placed her hand on Jack's bump before giving it a small kiss, followed by Myfanwy, her little stuffed bear, repeating the motion. She giggled as she felt her brother move. 'Hello,' she said loudly, both through excitement and hope that her loud greeting would cause him to move again. She was rewarded by another small kick and she clapped her hands in glee. 'Baby awake.'

'Yes he is, sweetie.' Jack rubbed his belly, hoping to calm his son and encourage him to lay off his bladder for five minutes. His daughter crawled over his legs to snuggle up to her other father. Jack could only smile as he watched Ianto grab hold of Lizzie and tickle her, much to her enjoyment. Her laughter was so loud and full of joy they almost missed the sound of the doorbell.

'Auntie Rhi here,' Lizzie shrieked as she wriggled from Ianto's grasp and sprung for the front door. Both men let out a sigh as Jack looked at the clock; it was gone nine in the morning and they had both completely forgotten Ianto's sister and brother in law were coming round to decorate the nursery.

'Lizzie, make sure it is your auntie.' Ianto was making his way quickly out of bed, flinging a shirt at Jack's face. 'Put the latch on first.' Ianto was struggling with his trouser leg which blatantly refused to let his foot escape through the bottom. He glanced back at Jack who simply refused to remove. 'Are you getting up today or are you just going to lie there?'

*****

Rhiannon rang the bell to her brother's house as her husband Johnny staggered up the steps, balancing a collection of tools, paint cans and brushes in each hand. She could picture her little niece running to the door, fastening the latch her father insisted she put on before answering the door and then calling out to see who was there. Rhiannon and Johnny both knew that Lizzie was biologically Jack and Ianto's child; Rhiannon even remembered the conversation she had had with the two of them when she had called unexpectedly and found a rather pregnant Jack stripping Ianto slowly of his suit. It was decided by both parties afterwards that Rhiannon should only use her spare key in case of emergencies.

'Don't help me then, Rhi.' Johnny was struggling with a rogue paint can that just wouldn't stay attached to his finger. She rolled her eyes at her husband's antics and rushed forward to relieve him of some of his load. She took hold of a couple of cans before she heard Lizzie's voice ringing from behind the door.

'Who is it?' The little girl pressed her nose to the glass of the front door to see outside and Rhi could see the smile cross her face as she caught a glimpse of her auntie.

'Only me sweetie,' Rhi said as she ran to the front door. Johnny cursed from behind her as a paint brush dropped from his grasp. 'And your uncle.' She smiled as she heard the latch unlock and a little brown haired girl leaped forward and flung herself at her legs.

'Auntie Rhi,' the little girl screeched as she took hold of Rhiannon's free hand and dragged her into the house. Johnny crept inside and slammed the door shut with his foot before placing everything down and grabbing hold of Lizzie. He lifted her into the air and tickled her, causing the little girl to shriek in delight.

'Well, where are they then?' Johnny rested Lizzie on his hip as Rhiannon put everything onto the table, searching for any sign of her brother.

'Still in bed,' Lizzie said plainly as she squirmed in her uncle's grasp. 'They were kissing. It was yucky.' Rhiannon couldn't help but laugh as she saw the look on her husband's face. He settled Lizzie on the ground before helping his wife with the equipment.

'That was more information than I wanted.' They both fell into a fit of laughter, which only increased as Ianto made his way downstairs and joined them. Lizzie ran to her father and wrapped herself around his legs.

'What have you been saying?' Ianto quizzed his daughter as she looked up at him with innocent eyes. Any anger that might have been there melted away as Lizzie stuck her lower lip out and hugged her father's legs tightly.

'Nothing.' She smiled innocently as she put her arms up so Ianto would pick her up. Shaking his head, he reached down and scooped his daughter into his arms. Ianto turned as he heard the sound of Jack making his way slowly down the stairs to join the congregating group. Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs, Jack patted Lizzie's head as he joined Ianto in the living room.

'You should have reminded me we had your sister over,' Jack sighed as he kissed the side of Ianto's face whilst one had rested on his bump. 'I would have dressed in something a little more appealing.' He looked up as Rhiannon made her way over to them and drew Jack into a big hug, before settling her hand on his stomach.

'Hello, little one.' Rhiannon ran her hand over the extended stomach and smiled when she felt her future nephew kick. She turned to Johnny and called him over to feel the tiny life inside of Jack.

'I'm fine thanks,' Johnny said as he began sorting out the tools on the kitchen table. 'No offense, Jack. I can deal with the whole you being pregnant thing, it's just I don't fancy getting too close to the whole experience.' He gave a nervous smile to his brother in law's boyfriend as he tried to busy himself with the items in front of him.

'It's fine.' Jack moved away from Ianto and Rhiannon as he waddled ungracefully towards Johnny. 'I guess it is a little much to have a pregnant man in the 21st century.' He patted the younger man on the back as the conversation turned to colouring and decorating.

'Daddy,' Lizzie looked up to Ianto as she rested her head on his shoulder. 'Can I help auntie Rhi and uncle Johnny? I promise I'll be good.' Ianto had no chance to answer as his sister took her out of his grasp and settled the little girl on her lap.

'Of course you can, sweetie.' Rhiannon turned to make her way up the stairs to the little girl's bedroom. 'But let's get you dressed in something else. Don't want to get paint all over your nice little dress, do we?' She continued her conversation with Lizzie as Ianto joined the two men now arguing over colours in the kitchen.

'What's wrong with blue?' Johnny had his hands on his hips as Jack creased his nose at the array of colours starring up from him from the table. All of them just seemed wrong. They hadn't when they had first talked about re-doing Lizzie's old nursery, but Jack's tastes and needs seemed to be changing every day, no thanks to the mixture of hormones streaming through his system. Ianto had already been on the receiving end of Jack's blind anger when Jack couldn't get his own way, only to have a sobbing Jack in his arms two minutes later about how selfish he had been. 'It's going to be a boy, so why not stick with convention? You did Lizzie's room up in pink.'

'You 21st century people with your conventions and stereotypes,' Jack muttered, trying to quiet the rising fury that was threatening to burst through as a temper tantrum. 'This is not exactly a conventional birth, is it? Why does it have to be blue just because it's a boy? What if I preferred lime green for my son? Does that colour disagree with your little labels?'

'Look. It's Ianto,' Johnny said, trying to deflect the bubbling argument he knew Jack was preparing himself for. 'Let's see what he thinks, shall we?' He waved his brother in law over to them, hoping that his mere presence could calm Jack down. He watched as Ianto ran his hand over Jack's back before turning his attentions to the array of colours in front of him.

'You know,' Ianto started as he looked back up to Jack. 'The blue is quite nice.' He knew he should have just stayed quiet. In a fraction of a second, Jack's face fell and tears began to cloud his eyes.

'Oh right, fine.' Jack flung his arms up in surrender. 'Obviously my vote doesn't matter. I mean, I'm only carrying this child. It's not like I have a say for what he wants when he's born. I'm just a walking incubator.' Jack tried to march sternly out of the kitchen, but his son refused him that dignity as he waddled into the living room, leaving Ianto and Johnny to take a sharp intake of breath.

'Hormones.' That was all Ianto could say as he looked to his brother in law.

'Been there, man.' Johnny said, remembering when Rhiannon had had David and Mica. The sound of sobs coming from the living room had Ianto moving, finding Jack with his head in his hands as he wept on the sofa. He wrapped an arm around Jack's shoulder and drew him into an embrace.

'I'm sorry, Cariad.' Ianto tried to reassure his partner who continued to cry on his shoulder. 'Whatever colour you want for the little one will be good enough for us. Don't ever think you're just a walking incubator.' He watched as Jack raised his head from Ianto's shoulder, his eyes were red from crying as he tried to compose himself.

'I'm the one who should be sorry,' Jack started as he sat himself up and stared at Ianto. 'I didn't mean to get like that. Hell, I was the one who wanted blue in the first place. My mind just keeps changing and it's just infuriating.'

'I know,' Ianto said as he wiped a stray tear away from Jack's cheek. 'But just think, in three months he'll be with us and we won't have to worry about decorating or building furniture. We'll just have to worry about 3am feeding and nappy changing.' He smiled as Jack laughed and ran a hand over his bump.

'I just want everything to be perfect.' Jack took hold of Ianto's hand and placed a small kiss to his lover's knuckles. 'After everything with the 456; nearly taking you with me into Thames House. If I had, you would be dead and I don't think I could have gone on, immortality be damned.' He sighed as Ianto kissed the top of his head and then kissed him in a heartfelt display of his love and loyalty.

'You would have, one way or another. But there's no need to think about that; we have a lovely little girl and another kid on the way. You played the big damn hero and saved the world again and now you're getting your reward.' He helped Jack to his feet and hugged him once more.

'Daddy upset?' Lizzie had watched her parents as they comforted each other. She ran up to them in an old t-shirt and jeans and wrapper herself around their legs. Ianto bent down and picked up his little girl, hugging her between Jack and himself.

'Daddy was upset, but he's okay now.' Jack smoothed her hair down as she kissed him on the cheek. 'Your Dad made him all better.' He watched as she turned to Ianto and placed a kiss onto his cheek.

'Yay,' she shrieked. 'Can we go paint now?' The eagerness in her eyes made Ianto and Jack smile as they placed her down on the ground.

'Yes, we can go paint now,' Ianto said as he looked down at Lizzie. 'Providing your daddy has decided on a colour.' Jack hit him playfully in the arm as he began to walk to the kitchen.

'Blue,' Jack plainly said as he lifted a paint can, only to have his hand slapped away by Johnny, who told him if he did any heavy lifting, he would personally kill him after he had had the baby. The two men laughed as Rhiannon, Johnny and Ianto took a paint can each while Lizzie took the brushes. As his sister, daughter and brother in law made their way up the stairs, Ianto took hold of Jack's hand and held him back for a second.

'Everything is going to be perfect,' Ianto said as he gave Jack a quick kiss.

'It already is,' Jack replied as he kissed his lover one last time before the two of them headed up the stairs to join the others.

*****

On a planet deep in the heart of the Universe, the Better Than Life Institute was collapsing, no thanks to a meddling time traveller who thought he knew better than any of the workers. A receptionist tried to keep the man at bay whilst he ranted how this place was a place of suffering. She had tried desperately to convince the visitor that these people were deeply cared for and looked after, but he seemed to ignore the poor girl as he paced the decrepit corridors with some strange sonic device.

'Recession isn't just an old 20th century Sol Three word,' the young woman said as she tried to keep up with the man in the brown suit. 'We look after these people as best as we can. It's just these past few years the money has dried up and the place has fallen into disrepair. No matter what it looks like on the outside, this is a place of sanctuary and peace for those who use it.'

'You can talk all you like, but I'm not going to listen.' The Doctor had finished pacing the length of the corridor and now moved through a pair of doors to a suite that had been abandoned for several years. Momentarily, he stilled his actions and stared the young woman in the face. 'I know these types of places. How can you willingly allow emotionally scared and damaged people to lose themselves in the fiction of their own minds? There is no easy escape from life, from their problems. You trap these people in their fantasies without means of escape and you call it healing?'

'It is the last resort for these people,' the young woman protested, afraid to fully face off to the gentleman who appeared to be well versed in his knowledge, even though his face was so young. 'Some of these people have had counselling, others have been suicidal. This way, they can live and be content with themselves. Why would you want to destroy their preferred method of living?'

'Because it's wrong.' The Doctor hadn't meant to shout at the young lady, but he needed to vent his anger at someone. She was part of this corrupted institute which preyed on the grieving and unbalanced members of the Universe. If he were to be honest, he was madder with those who wanted to live out their lives in a simulated reality. It was too much of an easy escape, something which he knew he would never be able to have himself. Inside, he secretly hated the ones who had found it so easy to escape the pain and heartbreak of the real world.

'To you maybe, Doctor.' An elderly gentleman limped out of the shadows and made his way to the people in front of him. 'But would you say such things if you knew the well being of a particular patient of ours.' His cryptic tone and stark appearance only heightened the Doctor's sense of adventure and intrigue, so he had no qualms in following the gentleman closely as they made their way up a flight of stairs.

After what felt like an hour of walking, the elderly gentleman swiped an identity card through a small slot, opening the door to a dark and abandoned suite even the most senior staff new nothing of. The Doctor followed hesitantly as the three of them made their way down the darkened corridor and out into a single derelict room. A flickering light threw its light sporadically around the room, illuminating various objects scattered around the area. But the Doctor's eyes fell only upon one figure which sat directly opposite him.

Strapped to a chair, the Better Than Life headset strapped firmly to his skull, Captain Jack Harkness sat motionless in front of him. With a drip attached to his arm and small machines working his body's muscles to prevent decay from lack of use, the Doctor's former companion now sat in a comatose state, transfixed and hypnotised by the world the software had created for him.

'How long has he been here?' The Doctor quizzed the gentleman as he checked the immortal's life readings, trying to quell the rising bile in his throat.

'He came here around six years ago,' the man said as he injected Jack with the hourly drug needed to keep his body from falling into a state of decay. 'He came from Sol Three or Earth as he called it. We calculated he must have been there when it was attacked by something the inhabitants of the planet called the 456, an event which was sung continuously by the Ood in the years after. He didn't say much, only that he needed to escape, that the whole Universe had become nothing but a graveyard. He threw a large amount of money at me, sat down in the chair and refused to move until I wired him into the programme.'

'And you didn't think of just turning him away?' The Doctor's anger began to bubble again as he came face to face with the other gentleman. The young receptionist stood in the corner of the room, transfixed with horror at the sight in front of her.

'We tried,' the man replied, slightly intimidated by the Time Lord's presence. 'We tried to get him to talk further, but he just sat there, silent and staring straight ahead of him. The only time he moved was to break the arm of one of the wardens when he made a grab for him. I decided to isolate him in this room and place him in a standard 48 hour trial period. When the session was over, he...he broke my leg and ordered me to put him back or he'd kill me. That's when I saw the grief and pain imbedded in his eyes. It was like looking straight into his soul. Most of our patients come here for self reflection, to see what they can do with their lives if they tried. He...he just had nothing left. He was too broken for this world.'

The Doctor tried to hold back the tears that were building behind his eyes as he crouched in front of his former companion. He reached up to caress Jack's temple underneath the headset and was instantly bombarded with the images of those five days when the Earth had nearly fallen. The words caught in his throat as a single tear fell down his cheek. Sorry, he knew, would never be enough to say to him.

'He gave me something else, Doctor.' The gentleman behind him pulled out an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to the Time Lord. 'It's how I knew your name. He said to give this to you, should you ever turn up looking for him.' He turned and left the Doctor with his companion, taking hold of the receptionist hand as he led her out with him. He turned to take one last glance of the time traveller before giving him a moment of privacy.

When he knew he was alone, the Doctor ripped open the sealed letter and held it in front of him. What he saw on that page would haunt him through the rest of his regenerations. He could not read it again, it hurt him too much to even look over the first sentence. His friend had written of the 456, losing his grandson and his lover and, although he did not blame the Time Lord, it was easily spotted in the way it had been written. Folding the piece of paper in half, he placed the document into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and stood. The Doctor took one more glance of his former companion and then headed to the door, leaving Jack in the place he had described in his letter as 'Better than Immortal Life.'

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**Just a one-shot I needed to get off my chest. The next chapter of Uner Your Skin will be up tomorrow.**


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